Mind Unfiltered By Monali Suthar

  Are We Truly Touching the Ground Reality? Today, conversations around Emotional Intelligence, Mental Wellness, Mental Health, Happiness, and Emotional Well-being are becoming increasingly common. We conduct training programs for children, employees, leaders, parents, teachers, and communities. We discuss empathy, self-awareness, resilience, communication, stress management, and emotional regulation. These are important conversations. They are needed. But a question often comes to my mind: Are we truly able to bring these concepts into our daily lives, especially within our own homes? After all, whether someone is a child, an employee, a manager, a homemaker, an entrepreneur, a teacher, or a CEO—everyone is human first. Behind every professional identity is a person carrying emotions, experiences, expectations, fears, disappointments, dreams, and sometimes unresolved wounds. The House We Live In: A Complex Emotional Ecosystem In many Indian households, different generations live u...

There is something silently happening to humanity today. Not loudly. Not dramatically. Not always visibly. But quietly… inside almost everyone. A constant noise. A mind that never truly rests. From the moment we wake up, the race begins. Join us on a journey toward inner peace and emotional wellbeing through simple, real human conversations — no emotional jargon, just understanding; register here. -  Register    Before our feet even touch the floor, the mind has already started working. Messages. Responsibilities. Pressure. Deadlines. Family. Society. Expectations. Fear. Comparison. Survival. The future. The past. Regret. Hope. Anxiety. Performance. Money. Relationships. Social media. Identity. And somehow, in between all this chaos, we are expected to continue functioning normally every single day. Smiling. Working. Performing. Responding. Adjusting. Managing. As if being mentally exhausted has become a normal part of being alive. And maybe that is exactly why mental wel...

 ઘણા ઘરો બહારથી એકદમ પરફેક્ટ લાગે છે. તહેવારોમાં સ્મિત, પ્રસંગોમાં સાથે ઉભા, પરિવારની તસ્વીરોમાં ખુશી. પણ બંધ દરવાજા પાછળ ઘણી વાર સચ્ચાઈ બિલકુલ અલગ હોય છે. અહીં પ્રેમ દેખાડવામાં આવે છે, પણ અનુભવાતો નથી. અહીં સંભાળના નામે નિયંત્રણ હોય છે, શાંતિના નામે મૌન હોય છે, અને સંસ્કારના નામે દુખ સહન કરાવાય છે. નકલી પ્રેમ: જ્યાં પ્રેમ શરતો સાથે આવે છે નકલી પ્રેમ હંમેશા ચીસો પાડતો નથી. એ ઘણી વાર મીઠા શબ્દોમાં છુપાયેલો હોય છે. આવું સાંભળવા મળે: “અમે તારા ભલા માટે કરીએ છીએ” “અમારા પરિવારમાં આવું જ ચાલે” “ઘરની વાત બહાર ન કરાય” “તું વધારે વિચારે છે” અહીં પ્રેમ ત્યારે જ મળે છે જ્યારે: તમે ચુપ રહો તમે એડજસ્ટ કરો તમે પ્રશ્ન ન પૂછો તમે પરિવારની ઈમેજ બચાવો દુખ કહો તો તમે નબળા કહેવાઓ. સત્ય કહો તો બેઅદબી કહેવાઓ. જગ્યા માંગો તો સ્વાર્થિ કહેવાઓ. રોજિંદા જીવનમાં બેવડા ધોરણો પરિવારમાં બેવડા ધોરણો રોજિંદા જીવનમાં શાંતિથી ચાલે છે: એકને બોલવાની છૂટ, બીજાને મૌન એકની ભૂલ માફ, બીજાની જીવનભર યાદ એકને સ્વતંત્રતા, બીજાને “જવાબદારી” એક નિર્ણય કરે, બાકીના એડજસ્ટ ...

 In many homes, everything looks perfect from the outside. Smiles during festivals. Family photos on special occasions. Relatives praising unity and values. But behind closed doors, the reality is often very different. There is love that is shown, and love that is felt. Sadly, in many families, what is shown is love—but what is felt is control, fear, silence, and emotional suffocation. Fake Love: When Care Comes With Conditions Fake love is not always loud or violent. It is often polite, sweet, and smiling. It sounds like: “We are doing this for your good.” “In our family, this is how things work.” “Don’t talk about this outside.” “You are overthinking.” This kind of love is conditional. You are loved only if you obey , only if you adjust , only if you stay quiet , only if you don’t question elders , only if you protect the family image . If you express pain, you are called sensitive. If you speak the truth, you are called disrespectful. If you ask for space, ...

  If you live off a man’s compliments, you’ll die from his criticism.” — Cornelius Lindsey “When you die, people don’t call you by your name. … At your funeral they will say ‘Bring the body’…” 1. Why this keeps happening: the emotional mechanisms • The habit of comparison From childhood, many of us learn to measure ourselves: “how am I doing” compared to someone else — sibling, classmate, colleague, friend. This becomes an internal reflex, a scoreboard in our mind, whether overt or quiet. Research confirms that frequent social comparison (especially upward — comparing ourselves with someone we perceive as better off) is strongly associated with negative feelings: lower self-esteem, more anxiety, and depressive symptoms. For example, a review notes: “Lower self-acceptance and higher social comparison were linked to higher depression and anxiety.” And usage of social media -- which floods us with curated “highlight reels” of others’ success, beauty, recognition, status -- intens...

 No matter what age you are, some emotions and some experiences hit exactly the same. They trigger you, shake you, and silently take away your peace, happiness, and the quality of your daily life. Comparison, importance, power — these things don’t belong to any particular age. They follow us everywhere… in our work life, social life, relationships, and even within our own home. And the funny thing is… there is thousand of knowledge out there. Life coaches, spiritual gurus, influencers — everyone is talking about calmness, boundaries, inner peace, self-worth. But what is the benefit of so much knowledge if we are not able to apply even 1% of it in real life? What is the use of knowing if we cannot live that knowing? If we cannot protect our peace? If we cannot set boundaries to save ourselves from our own emotional storms? The Reality I Have Seen With My Own Eyes I have personally seen 2–3 people who work exactly on this subject — they guide others on how to stay calm, ho...

જ્યારે આપણે જન્મીએ છીએ, ત્યારે આપણે નિર્વિકાર આવીએ છીએ — શુદ્ધ, નિર્દોષ અને કુદરતી. બાળકની આંખો દરેક વસ્તુમાં અદ્ભુત જોયે છે, હૃદય ખુલ્લું હોય છે, વિશ્વાસથી ભરેલું, પ્રેમથી છલકાતું. બાળક કદી ન્યાય નથી કરતું, સ્પર્ધા નથી કરતું, કે નાટક નથી કરતું — તે માત્ર હોય છે . દરેક સ્મિત પર, દરેક નાના પ્રયાસ પર પ્રશંસા મળે છે. લોકો — માતા-પિતા, શિક્ષક, સગા, અંજાણાં — સૌના ચહેરા પર મમતા હોય છે. પ્રેમ, ઉત્સાહ અને સ્વીકાર મફતમાં મળે છે. તે વિશ્વ સુરક્ષિત લાગે છે, જ્યાં “તું જે છે તે જ પૂરતું છે.” પણ પછી ક્યાંક, ધીમે ધીમે, એ વિશ્વ બદલાઈ જાય છે... પ્રથમ આઘાત: નિર્દોષતાનો અંત જ્યારે કોઈ શાળામાં હસે, તુલના કરે, કે ઉપેક્ષા કરે — અંદર કંઈક તૂટી જાય છે. શાંત રીતે, પણ ઊંડે સુધી. અમેરિકન સાયકોલોજિકલ એસોસિએશન (2019) ના એક અભ્યાસ મુજબ, બાળક સાત વર્ષની ઉંમરે જ પોતાના પર સમાજના અભિપ્રાયની અસર અનુભવવા લાગે છે. અગાઉ જે આનંદ “હોય” માં હતો, તે હવે “બનવું” માં ફેરવાઈ જાય છે. અહીંથી આપણે શીખીએ છીએ કે સ્વીકાર મેળવવા માટે આપણને પોતાની જાતને બદલવી પડશે. કિશોરાવસ્થા: સ્પર્ધાની ભ્રમના ભવરમાં ટીનેજ વયે આપણે ...

When we are born, we come into the world untouched—pure, radiant, and unfiltered. Our eyes see everything as wonder; our hearts are open, trusting, and full of love. A child doesn’t judge, doesn’t compete, doesn’t wear masks. A child simply is . Every smile, every small achievement, every step is met with applause. People around us—parents, teachers, relatives, even strangers—look at us with warmth. Their eyes soften, their tone sweetens. Love, affection, and appreciation are given freely. We grow in an environment that feels safe, where being “ourselves” is enough. But somewhere along the way, that world changes. The First Wound: The End of Innocence The first time someone laughs at us in school, the first time we are compared, ignored, or rejected—something inside us breaks quietly. It’s not dramatic, but it’s deep. Psychologists call this the “first social trauma” —the moment a child realizes that love is no longer unconditional. A 2019 study by the American Psychological Associatio...