The Quiet Storm Inside — Emotions, Experience & the Cost of Comparison
If you live off a man’s compliments, you’ll die from his criticism.” — Cornelius Lindsey “When you die, people don’t call you by your name. … At your funeral they will say ‘Bring the body’…” 1. Why this keeps happening: the emotional mechanisms • The habit of comparison From childhood, many of us learn to measure ourselves: “how am I doing” compared to someone else — sibling, classmate, colleague, friend. This becomes an internal reflex, a scoreboard in our mind, whether overt or quiet. Research confirms that frequent social comparison (especially upward — comparing ourselves with someone we perceive as better off) is strongly associated with negative feelings: lower self-esteem, more anxiety, and depressive symptoms. For example, a review notes: “Lower self-acceptance and higher social comparison were linked to higher depression and anxiety.” And usage of social media -- which floods us with curated “highlight reels” of others’ success, beauty, recognition, status -- intens...